If you’re thinking of leaving an abusive relationship, the first step is making sure you and your children are safe. What matters most right now is your security and creating a plan for how to move forward. Once you’re in a safer place, legal protections—like restraining orders, exclusive possession of the family home, or child and spousal support—can help stabilize your situation.
Ontario law recognizes the seriousness of abuse and provides protections through the Family Law Act and the Divorce Act. Support from community resources, counsellors, and an experienced family law lawyer can give you the guidance and protection you need as you take these difficult but important steps toward a life free from abuse.
10 Steps to Take Before You Walk Out the Door
Your biggest concern is your safety and your ability to move forward free from control. Leaving an abuser can be the most dangerous time which is why planning, support, and legal guidance are so important. Before you mention divorce or separation to your partner, it’s wise to have a plan in place. If possible, take these steps before you go:
- Create a safety plan – Think through where you’ll go, who you can call, and what you’ll do if your partner finds out you’re leaving.
- Reach out for support – Call a domestic violence hotline, speak to a shelter worker, or talk to a trusted friend who will keep your confidence.
- Gather important documents – Birth certificates, passports, bank statements, health cards, school records, leases, or mortgage papers.
- Set aside emergency funds – Even small amounts of cash saved discreetly can make a difference when you leave.
- Pack an emergency bag – Keep a hidden bag with clothes, medications, keys, and essentials for you and your children.
- Connect with a family law lawyer – A lawyer can help you apply for protection orders, parenting arrangements, and financial support once you leave.
- Secure evidence of abuse – If safe, keep records like threatening texts, police reports, or medical records to support future legal action or forward them to a friend or your lawyer.
- Protect your digital privacy – Change passwords, clear search histories, and avoid making plans on devices your partner can access.
- Plan for your children – Talk with a trusted school staff member, and make sure you know what they’ll need if you have to leave quickly.
- Arrange safe transportation – Have a plan for how you’ll leave, whether it’s your own vehicle, a taxi, or a ride from someone you trust.
Even if you can’t do all of these steps before leaving, every bit of preparation helps. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 and get to a safe place right away.
Gathering Proof of Abuse
For a judge to take family violence into account, there must be proof. When you’re leaving an abusive relationship, coming up with evidence can be difficult because family violence often happens in private. Some examples of evidence include:
- 9-1-1 calls
- written statements or testimony in court from people who have experienced, seen, or heard the violence, or who have seen the effects of the abuse
- photos of injuries
- recordings of abusive incidents
- hospital or medical records or police reports
This information can help if your spouse tries to deny the abuse or turn the situation around in court.
Protect Your Finances When Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Abuse often extends to money. Many survivors are left without access to bank accounts or financial resources. If you can, set aside funds in a separate account and keep copies of financial documents. Ontario courts can order spousal support, child support, or even give you temporary control of the family home, but being prepared before filing can make things easier.
Legal Protections in Ontario
The Family Law Act offers tools to help keep you safe while you go through the divorce process. You can apply for:
- Protection orders, which can stop your spouse from contacting or approaching you.
- Exclusive possession of the family home, allowing you to remain there while your spouse is barred from entering.
- Restraining orders, which can prevent your spouse from dealing with family assets during your case.
When children are involved, Ontario law requires that all parenting decisions are made in the best interests of the child. If there’s a history of abuse, the court can limit or supervise your spouse’s parenting time to protect your children.
Why a Family Law Lawyer is Your Best Support System
A family law lawyer who understands domestic violence can apply for urgent protections, help create a parenting plan that prioritizes safety, and guide you through decisions about support, property, and communication boundaries. Most importantly, they stand in your corner, making sure your voice is heard and your safety remains the focus.
Abusers don’t usually walk away quietly. Some continue their control through the legal system—dragging out the process, making false claims, or using court battles to wear you down. Having an experienced lawyer by your side helps protect you from this kind of “litigation abuse.”
Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP Is Here To Help When You’re Leaving an Abusive Relationship
At SNC Family Law, we understand how overwhelming and frightening this process can feel. Our team is experienced in supporting survivors of abuse through separation and divorce, and we will stand by your side every step of the way.
For your safety, you can reach us in the way that feels most discreet for you—whether that’s by phone at 1-866-721-5851, email at reception@sncfamilylaw.com, or through booking a consultation on our website. If you’re not able to speak freely, let us know the safest way to get back in touch, and we will respect your privacy.
Reach out to Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP today and take the first step toward a safer future. We represent clients across Barrie, Collingwood, Wasaga Beach, and the GTA. Don’t hesitate to reach out, we are here for you..
***The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. If you have legal questions, we strongly advise you to contact us.
