When a couple separates or divorces, emotions can run high—especially when children are involved—but sometimes one of the parents takes it to the point of parental alienation. While it’s completely normal for both parents to feel frustrated or overwhelmed during this time, what’s not okay is when one parent begins to actively harm the child’s relationship with the other. This behaviour, known as parental alienation, can have lasting emotional and psychological effects on your child.
If you believe your former partner is trying to turn your child against you, it’s important to take the right steps to protect your relationship with your child—and that starts with working alongside an experienced family law lawyer.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation happens when one parent manipulates or pressures a child into rejecting or fearing the other parent. It’s more common than you might think and often arises during decision-making responsibility and parenting time disputes. The alienating parent might badmouth the other, exaggerate or fabricate claims, or make the child feel guilty for wanting to spend time with their other parent.
In some cases, the child is even told private or inappropriate details about the divorce, or made to feel responsible for choosing sides. Over time, this can cause the child to distance themselves emotionally, and even reject the alienated parent entirely.
How to Recognize the Signs
Parental alienation doesn’t always look the same, and the signs can be subtle. Some things to watch for include:
- Your child becoming unusually hostile or distant toward you, without clear reason
- Your ex frequently cancelling or rescheduling your parenting time
- Your child seeming anxious, upset, or guilty when they visit or return home
- Your child using adult language or accusations that mirror your ex’s words
- Your ex sharing inappropriate details of your separation or making accusations in front of the child
- Your ex refusing to comply with the court-ordered parenting schedule
- Your child refusing to acknowledge positive experiences they’ve had with you
It’s not just hurtful—it’s harmful. Children caught in these situations can suffer long-term effects, including anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, and low self-esteem well into adulthood.
What the Law Says About Parental Alienation
The Canadian Divorce Act was updated in 2020 to better reflect what’s in the best interests of the child. While the previous version emphasized “maximum contact” with both parents, the current law looks at the bigger picture, including each parent’s willingness to support their child’s relationship with the other parent.
In other words, if one parent is clearly undermining the child’s connection to the other, the courts may see this as a serious issue. Judges are increasingly aware of parental alienation and take it seriously. The parent responsible may face consequences like reduced parenting time, court-ordered counselling, or even loss of decision-making responsibility and parenting time in extreme cases.
What You Can Do If You Suspect Parental Alienation
If you think your relationship with your child is being interfered with, these are some key steps you can take:
1. Speak With a Family Lawyer. Parental alienation cases are complex and emotionally charged. A knowledgeable family lawyer can help you understand your rights, guide you through the legal process, and advocate for your child’s best interests.
2. Gather Documentation. Start by collecting anything that can help show a pattern of alienating behaviour. This might include texts, emails, witness statements, or notes about interactions with your child. Keep a record of missed visits or conversations that indicate your child is being influenced.
3. Keep Detailed Notes. Journaling can be a powerful tool. Write down your parenting time, what you and your child did together, and how your child acted during and after visits. This can paint a clearer picture if the matter goes to court.
4. Consider Court-Ordered Therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional well-being, therapy might be recommended. A neutral, qualified therapist can help assess the relationship, provide insight to the court, and begin to heal any damage caused by the alienation.
5. Stay Consistent and Present. Even when it’s hard, do your best to remain consistent, calm, and present in your child’s life. Avoid retaliating or speaking negatively about the other parent. Your child needs to know they are safe and loved by you.
Can Parental Alienation Affect Decision-Making Responsibility and Parenting Time?
Yes, and it often does. If a judge determines that one parent is intentionally alienating the child, they may impose serious legal consequences. These can include supervised visitation, reduced parenting time, or even a complete change in decision-making responsibility arrangements. Ultimately, the court’s goal is to always prioritize the child’s well-being and ensure they have a healthy relationship with both parents whenever possible.
If You Recognize These Signs, Don’t Wait to Take Action. Call Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP Law Today
If you feel like your relationship with your child is slipping away due to interference from your former partner, don’t ignore it. Parental alienation is serious—not just for your parental rights, but for your child’s emotional health and future well-being.
At Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP, we understand how difficult and painful these situations can be. Our team of experienced family lawyers is here to listen, support, and help you take the right steps to rebuild and protect your relationship with your child.
Reach out to us today to schedule a consultation. Let’s talk about how we can help you address parental alienation and move forward with confidence. With offices in Barrie, Toronto, Wasaga Beach, and Collingwood, we’re here to represent and support you through these tough times. Book a consultation through our website or give us a call at 1-866-721-5851.
***The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. If you have legal questions, we strongly advise you to contact us.
