Co-parenting after a separation or divorce isn’t always smooth sailing—especially when the two of you don’t see eye to eye—which is where a parenting coordinator comes in. Co-parenting involves making decisions together about your kids. Sometimes it’s big stuff, like where they’ll go to school, and other times, it’s day-to-day things, like whether they bring lunch from home or buy one at school. When even these kinds of conversations turn into arguments and you’re stuck at a standstill, a parenting coordinator can step in and help get things back on track.
What Is a Parenting Coordinator?
Parenting coordination is a type of family dispute resolution that helps separated or divorced parents sort out everyday parenting issues. It’s a voluntary process, so both parents have to agree to it; you can’t be forced into using a parenting coordinator.
A parenting coordinator is a trained professional, often a social worker or mental health expert, who steps in to help parents follow the parts of their court order, separation agreement, or family arbitration award which deal with parenting. Their main role is to help you work through day-to-day disagreements like who’s driving the kids to hockey, how summer vacation time will be split, or how to handle clothing going back and forth between homes.
A parenting coordinator doesn’t make major decisions about parenting time or decision-making responsibility but they can make decisions on smaller issues when parents can’t agree. This is called a “secondary arbitration,” and it means the parenting coordinator can step in to decide the issue after hearing from both sides and sometimes from professionals like teachers or doctors, or even from the child if needed.
The process is a lot like mediation-arbitration. First, the parenting coordinator helps parents talk things through trying to find common ground. If that doesn’t work, they can make a final decision. Some parents even agree in advance to use a parenting coordinator down the road, before a problem arises.
While you don’t need new legal advice to start working with a parenting coordinator, it’s still a smart idea to speak with a lawyer first. A lawyer can explain how parenting coordination works, can help you choose the right professional, and will review your parenting coordination agreement. Many parenting coordinators require this step before they start working with you.
Why Work with a Parenting Coordinator?
If co-parenting feels like a constant battle and every decision turns into an argument, you might be wondering whether parental coordination is the right move. When it’s tough to find common ground with your co-parent, these are likely a few key reasons why working with a parenting coordinator could make things easier for everyone involved, especially your kids.
1. Less Conflict, Less Stress. One of the biggest benefits of involving a parenting coordinator is reducing tension. Instead of letting disagreements spiral into legal battles or heated arguments, parents can turn to the coordinator for help resolving issues in a calm, constructive way.
2. Better Communication Between Parents. Good communication is key in any co-parenting relationship. Parenting coordinators offer a structured space to work through disagreements on things like parenting time, school decisions, medical care, and discipline strategies. With someone neutral guiding the discussion, communication becomes more focused and productive.
3. Fewer Court Visits, More Clarity. Constant trips to court drain time, money, and emotional energy. Parenting coordinators streamline the decision-making process, allowing parents to reach agreements more efficiently while helping to prevent minor issues from escalating into major ones.
4. Support and Education. In addition to helping manage disputes, parenting coordinators often provide guidance on healthy co-parenting strategies and child development. Understanding how conflict affects children can be a wake-up call for some parents and a motivation to build healthier dynamics.
5. Keeping the Children’s Needs Front and Centre. Every recommendation or decision made in parenting coordination is rooted in what’s best for the children. By helping parents stay child-focused, coordinators play a key role in creating a more stable, supportive environment for kids.
6. Sticking to the Parenting Plan. Even with a court-ordered parenting plan in place, disagreements can crop up. Parenting coordinators help interpret and implement those plans fairly and consistently, keeping both parents accountable.
Contact Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP to Learn More About How a Parenting Coordinator Can Support Your Co-parenting Journey.
If you and your ex are finding co-parenting a struggle, with every decision becoming an argument, it’s time to call in a parenting coordinator. They can provide the structure, support, and guidance needed to move forward while keeping your children’s best interests at the heart of every decision.
At Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP, we are here to help with family mediation, parenting plans, and decision-making. We can help you decide if parental coordination is the right step for you and your ex and recommend the right person for you to work with based on your family specifics. We work in the GTA, Simcoe, and Grey Counties with offices in Barrie, Toronto, Wasaga Beach, and Collingwood. Book a consultation through our website or give us a call at 1-866-721-5851 today to get started.
***The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. If you have legal questions, we strongly advise you to contact us.
