Making a schooling choice after divorce or separation can be challenging—especially if your ex does not agree. Whether you are thinking about switching your child to a Catholic, private, or arts-based program — or even deciding on a high school or post-secondary school — disagreements can quickly arise if the other parent has different ideas. What starts as a practical decision about your child’s future can easily turn into a point of conflict.
In Ontario, school choice is considered a parenting decision, legally known as decision-making responsibility (formerly called custody). So, before you make a move, this is what you need to know—and what options are available when former spouses cannot agree.
Who Gets to Decide On The Schooling Choice After Divorce?
In Ontario, the decision about which school your child attends is part of decision-making responsibility. Check your court order or separation agreement—it will say whether one parent has sole decision-making or if it is shared (joint).
- Sole decision-making: One parent can choose the school without the other’s consent, as long as it does not go against a court order or agreement.
- Joint decision-making: Both parents must agree on major decisions like schooling. If you cannot agree, you will need to talk it out, try mediation, or, if needed, go to court.
Can You Just Register Your Child?
Nope—not without checking with the other parent (unless you have sole decision-making). If you register your child in a new school without your ex’s consent, it could backfire legally and make things harder down the road.
Something else to keep in mind, in most cases, Ontario schools require that at least one parent live in the school zone. Even if both parents agree on a school, the school might not allow enrollment if neither of you lives in that area.
Schooling Choice Negotiation Between Parents
The simplest path? Try to have a direct conversation with your ex about the school choice. If you have joint decision-making, you need to agree before moving forward. Even if you have sole decision-making, it is often worth giving the other parent a heads-up—especially if you want to avoid unnecessary conflict later on.
That said, emotions can run high. A family lawyer can help by giving you guidance before you open the conversation, or can even step in to negotiate on your behalf if you would rather not deal with your ex directly. They will focus on your child’s best interests and make sure any agreement you come to holds up legally.
Mediation – Working With a Neutral Third Party
If you cannot reach an agreement on your own, mediation is a good next step. A trained mediator (sometimes also a lawyer) guides a conversation between you and the other parent to help you reach a solution that works for both sides. It is voluntary, confidential, and often faster and cheaper than going to court.
While you do not need a lawyer to participate in mediation, it is smart to have one review any agreement before you sign it. They will make sure your rights—and your child’s needs—are fully protected.
Collaborative Family Law Involves Working Together With Legal Support
Collaborative family law is a team-based approach where you, the other parent, and both of your lawyers commit to solving the problem without going to court. You will work through the issues together in meetings, and you can also bring in specialists — like child or education professionals — if needed.
Everyone involved signs a contract promising to work together respectfully and transparently. This option can be great if both parties are willing to cooperate but need structure and professional support.
Your lawyer plays a crucial role here, not just as your legal adviser but also as your advocate during those tough conversations. If the process breaks down though, you will each need to find a new lawyer to represent you in court.
Arbitration – When a Private Decision-Maker Steps In
If you cannot agree and do not want to go to court, arbitration might be an option. You and your ex would both agree to let a neutral person (the arbitrator) decide the outcome. Think of it like hiring a private judge.
Arbitration is legally binding and typically faster than going through the courts. But because it is more formal, it is essential to have a family lawyer represent you. Your lawyer will help present your case and ensure your rights and your child’s best interests are clearly laid out and backed by evidence.
It is also worth noting that arbitration can get costly since you are paying both the arbitrator and your lawyer—but for some families, the privacy and speed are worth it.
Going to Court If Everything Else Fails
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the only option left is court. If that is the case, a judge will make the final decision about your child’s schooling based on what they believe is in the child’s best interest. They will consider factors like where each parent lives, the child’s ties to their proposed school, and any educational or emotional needs.
Court is often the slowest and most expensive option, and judges usually know the least about your child compared to you and your ex. That is why courts encourage parents to settle their disputes outside the courtroom whenever possible.
If court is necessary, strong legal representation is a must. A family lawyer will help you build a solid case, keep things focused on your child’s best interests, and guide you through the complex process.
Why Legal Advice Is Important No Matter Which Path You Take
Even if things seem simple at first, your child’s schooling choice can quickly turn into a bigger issue—especially if there is conflict between parents. A family lawyer ensures that:
- You understand your rights and obligations
- Any agreements you make are clear and legally binding
- You avoid costly mistakes that can lead to further conflict or court time
Whether you are trying to resolve things on your own, exploring alternative dispute options, or preparing for court, having legal guidance gives you peace of mind and protects your child’s future.
When It Comes To Agreeing on a Schooling Choice, We Are Here To Be Your Skilled Legal Advocate In Any Negotiation
Although there are several ways of resolving the school choice issue, it is best to have legal advice so that any decision does not end up causing major rifts between exes that can trickle down to the children. Whether you choose negotiation, mediation, arbitration, or collaborative methods, we have the experience and knowledge to make sure that all parties are satisfied with the decision and that it is legally binding.
At Scharff Nyland Chambers LLP, we support parents across the GTA, Simcoe, and Grey Counties through negotiation, mediation, collaborative law, and litigation. With offices in Barrie, Toronto, Wasaga Beach, and Collingwood, we’re ready to help you move forward with confidence. Book a consultation through our website or give us a call at 1-866-721-5851 to speak with a family lawyer today.
***The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. If you have legal questions, we strongly advise you to contact us.
